Being in the deep water.

I have been feeling really exhausted lately. I have this realisation that a corporate job can seriously become a blood sucking thing at times. And you just can’t help and just can’t move on with your life. It does sound appealing – getting up early, doing some exercises, running some household chores, and then putting all your energy into something which may or may not make you feel entirely happy or successful or grateful. But there comes a phase when you feel like quitting even if you know you have already done that in the past and honestly, it was more scary than exciting leaving a job when you feel like leaving. So what to do?

I have been called a ‘job hopper’ in the past, not just by some of my friends but by many of my closest family members. It did hurt. But I can’t really blame anyone for whatever choices I have made in my life. In the end, they were all the choices that I made with a conscious (sometimes impulsive, anxious, frustrated) state of mind. But in the end, they were ‘my choices’. I don’t like my job but I work really hard for it. Not all the time but I try my best. But it does not make me happy. I can say that out loud.

I have been reading this book “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck” by Mark Manson and I started questioning my values and fell into that anxious loop which is explained in the book (The feedback loop from hell). I realised that I have been so much focused on doing the right thing, pursuing the dream, finding the right path etc. that it has made me more insecure about my current reality. I get so overwhelmed with these things that I start feeling guilty for all my previous mistakes.

And as Mark Manson has rightly quoted in this book, “The feedback loop from hell is the insidious quirk to your brain that, if you let it, can drive you absolutely batty.”

Do I let myself fall into this loop? Every single time. And I wonder why is that. I know the problem. I know the tonic to the problem (to NOT let myself fall into this freakish loop) but I still keep on repeating the same mistakes. And I am about to be in my 30s soon which means I’m definitely not a child. And I have definitely tried not to become dumb. But it still sounds dumb right? Repeating the same mistakes and not doing anything about it.

Enough of negative self talk!

Time to do something about it. But what?

If I could just write it down in this one piece of article, I would have become happier than ever. But I have raised so many questions and have not been able to write a single answer.

So, I dug some more about what I should do to get past this loop. I realised that I need to define my values again. And as per Mark Manson, those values must be reality-based, socially constructive, and immediate and controllable.

This is not the end of this article. See you tomorrow.:)

Confidence · creation · creative · lifestyle · Passion · travel · wellness · write

Wondering and Wandering

Photo by Jordan Benton on

Someone rightly said:

I do not have a dream job because I do not dream of labor.”

I created a list of things that I wanted to do before I turned 30 – reading all the classics, learning the techniques of at least one dance form (have been trying my luck on ballet), writing articles that are worth, and many more. You see? It didn’t include having a 9 to 5 job. Why would it?

In reality, it’s not always easy to just quit a job and pursue dreams, not for everyone. But that doesn’t mean you can’t have both and as Elena Gilbert always kept reminding us:

“I still have hope.”

I have been wondering a lot, questioning a lot of my decisions. Should I have just listened to my heart and followed my dreams? Should I just keep a steady hand on my job which helps me fulfill financial needs? Should I pursue both? If yes, how can I do it? How do I find time? And what should I do?

Well! I’m not going to bore you with many more such questions and curiosities. And life is too short to just keep wondering about things and not do anything about it. So, it’s time to wander. To wander, I mean, not to have a fixed mindset but to explore. It is about finding the perfect path by becoming directionless. You must be feeling, “What a stupid thing to say? Finding the right path without having a goal in mind?”

I have a theory that life is about finding a balance. This is how everything works. If positive energy exists, so does the opposite. We always get fully emerged in happiness that we forget our sorrows. Similarly, we become so overwhelmed by negative emotions, we forget to embrace the little things. So, if you really want to find answers to all your confusions or curiosities, ask more questions, dig deeper. If you are stuck in the middle of a stressful job, try to create a balance with something creative. While many would encourage you to just leave your job, it’s not always the right decision.

In today’s time, side hustles have become a new ray of hope. I have been reading about side hustles a lot lately and honestly, it did give me hope.

According to an HBR article:

Side hustles empowered individuals so that they feel they are the agent in charge of their work, which led to being emotionally and cognitively invested in the side hustle.

A BBC article has brilliantly argued that side hustles are more important for women than men:

  • Former Telemundo boss Nely Galan says women are more vulnerable than men to job instability, making side hustle even more important.
  • Lauren Stiller Rikleen says women disproportionately suffer from ageism in the workplace.
  • To combat discrepancies, workers today need to have a backup plan, according to Galan, who says that women shouldn’t waste time waiting for corporate settings to become more equitable. Instead they should find other ways to become self-reliant.

According to another HBR article, to many, starting your own business means leaving your job and your company behind. But many of the smartest professionals recognize that you can — and quite possibly should — keep both. The combination teaches you more, and faster, than would otherwise be possible, and enables you to custom-craft a career that’s uniquely interesting and meaningful to you.

Let me point out the gist:

You don’t have to quit your day job – you can start small and build to something bigger.

As I pointed out earlier, find the balance and measure the effects. You can start it by just giving 1-2 hour to something that your soul loves. It’s all about channelizing your emotions and finding the perfect balance.